So, You Want To Get Married?
If you are thinking about dating, courtship, or getting married, this could be the most important little book you’ll ever read.
I realize what I just wrote may come across as over-statement or hyperbolic marketing, but it is not.
I have been in the counseling profession for many years, and the most common counseling situation that I have counseled are marriages in trouble.
These troubled marriages do not just happen. The problems in any marriage are rooted in the two people who are married before they were married.
It can be a challenge for a person to see future marriage problems with their current dating partner. This is why I wrote this book. I’m not trying to talk you out of dating or getting married.
My goals are to come alongside you to help bring more clarity to how you think about (1) dating, (2) the person you are dating, and (3) what your future could look like with the person you are dating.
What you see is not what you’re going to get. Once you’re married, the real person will be clearer than you ever imagined.
I hope this book will help you see what you may not be able to see right now, and how God can give you courageous favor to do the right things.
In order for you to get the most out of this book my suggestive devotional assignments are as follows:
God – Take all the questions in this book to your “closet” and talk to God about them. (There are over 100 questions throughout this book.)
Bible – Research, read and reflect upon all the Scriptures I’ve inserted in this book.
Self - Write out your answers. Be specific. Be vulnerable. Be practical.
Situations – Ask God to let whatever your life situation is to be a means of grace to change you.
Others – Invite a friend into your life by sharing what you and God discuss as you read and reflect upon this book.
This is a workbook
This book is the culmination of thousands of hours of counseling with marriages that came to me because they either did not know the content of this book, did not know how to apply it, or they refused to apply what they did know.
All of their marriages were in trouble and they hoped to reverse years of poor decision making and relational conflict.
What you are about to read has been field tested. It will work for you in proportion to your willingness to take it to heart while practically applying it to your life and relationship.
I recommend you read this book slowly, reflectively, prayerfully, and conversationally. You may want to read it more than once. This book is not meant to be read and shelved. It is a reusable tool that will never wear out no matter how many times you use it.
Do not be afraid; use it often.
At the end of each chapter, I have “call to action” opportunities that are meant to probe your thought life, as well as your practical life.
Ask the Spirit of God to open your eyes to see what may be hidden. Ask Him to give you the courage to change what needs to be changed, no matter how hard it feels in the moment.
And above all else, expect God’s favor on your life as you humbly submit to His guidance as you move through this resource.
Debtor to mercy,
PS: To the Marrieds
This book is for you too. Perhaps your marriage has hit the rocks.
After years of muddling through, you feel as though all hope is lost.
It is not.
This book was written for people who want a great marriage. The content applies (1) to those who have yet to tie the knot, (2) to those who have tied the knot, and (3) to those who have untied the knot.
Whether pre-married, married, or post-married, the content of this book is about how to have a God-glorifying and mutually enjoyable marriage.
If that is what you want, then this is what you need. Don’t be discouraged; be hopeful.
God is a healer of the hurting. If you are one of the hurting ones because your marriage went to a bad place, then I appeal to you to set aside some time to read this resource.
Find a friend to walk with you through it. Ask the Father to restore what is broken. Expect His mercy and favor.
I do not know if the LORD can restore your marriage, but I do know He can make your life better than what it is. The content in this book can assist you in that good cause.